I think we all have images of how our lives will turn out. Usually, reality and fantasy are two disparate images. I didn’t find this out until much later, but it’s difficult to know what you think you want, what you actually want, and what’s really good for you. I find it’s all about timing. Who I am and what I want changes with the experiences I’ve taken in. This sounds like common sense. But it’s not until you look back on the events that have transpired and the people you once knew, do you see them for what and who they really are.
I also realized I was frenetic in my desire to take in as much as possible — so I wouldn’t miss anything — but I had to learn to breathe, and whatever I needed would come to me when I needed it. Instead of holding on to the anxiety of missing out on something (if I didn’t immediately record it somehow), I learned to let in the experience as if I was slipping into a warm bath rather than being jarred by a cold shower.
I’m still learning this lesson every day.
As If, J. Allyn Rosser
How do you explain why elephants
appear to move their unwieldy hulks
with greater dignity than most humans do
in their finest moments,
as if they had evolved beyond wanting
anything but what they have?
Why does the field begin to ripple
before the wind arrives in whispers,
as if there were a communication,
as if the landscape were poorly dubbed,
and we weren’t expected to notice?
What butterfly does not dart away from us
as if it could sense our latent cruelties,
and yet return to check and double-check?
Has the night not gotten recently darker,
as if to insinuate that we have squandered
the light that was there?
Have we made too much of our own?
And did you notice afterward the dawn
opening up with a tentative eagerness
as if there were something crucial to illumine,
as if we would wake up early just to see it?
I imagine you reading this now
with an expression of quiet trouble
itself troubled by currents of hope,
as if you imagined me here with you,
as if I might be able to see your expression,
and at least answer it with mine.
Read more about this poem and poet on the Poetry Foundation website: http://bit.ly/uidQIZ.